The New Parenting Dilemma: Why Grandparents Aren’t the Go-To Solution Anymore

For many parents, the traditional solution to managing young children and getting some much-needed rest used to be simple: grandparents. They were the go-to for help with childcare, offering relief when parents needed a break or time to themselves. However, times are changing, and for millennial parents, this “grandparent hack” is becoming less of a reality.

We recently polled our Instagram followers and it revealed something absolutely unsurprising 🙂 Of the 300 parents who responded, less than 30% said they regularly rely on grandparents for help. The remaining respondents? They either only receive help during family visits or don’t have access to grandparent support at all. So, if think you spent more time at your grandparents’ house as a kid than your little one- you are probably right…

This shift isn’t just anecdotal—it reflects broader trends supported by research. Millennial parents are increasingly balancing parenting duties independently, with grandparents often not playing the same active childcare role that they did for previous generations(FamilyEducation)(Pew Research Center).

Why Are Grandparents Less Involved?

1. Geographical Distance

Modern families are more spread out than ever before. Millennials are increasingly mobile, often moving to different cities or countries for career opportunities, which means they live farther away from their extended families, including grandparents. More than 50% of millennials now live over an hour away from their parents(FamilyEducation).

In contrast to earlier generations, where grandparents often lived nearby or in multi-generational households, today’s millennial parents face a different reality. According to Pew Research, only 12% of young adults live in the same household as a grandparent or in close proximity (Pew Research Center). This distance significantly reduces the possibility of grandparents stepping in for regular, hands-on childcare and shifts their involvement to more occasional family visits.

2. Grandparents are working longer

Another key reason why millennial parents are less likely to rely on grandparents is the changing nature of work for older generations. More and more grandparents are working well past the traditional retirement age, reducing their availability for regular childcare. One in three people aged 65 to 74 in the U.S. is still employed(

Business Insider). This shift means many grandparents are juggling their own work commitments and aren’t as available to provide childcare consistently.

Additionally, millennials themselves are part of more dual-income households, with 68% of married couples with children under 18 both working(Pew Research Center). This results in tighter schedules, leaving less flexibility for coordinating help from grandparents, especially if they are working themselves. As a result, millennial parents have less access to the grandparent support network that many in previous generations relied on.

3. Changing Family Dynamics

Family structures have evolved, and this has reshaped the role that grandparents play. In previous generations, multi-generational households were common—21% of U.S. families lived with grandparents in 1950(Pew Research Center). By the early 2000s, however, this number had dropped to just 6%. This move toward more nuclear families means millennial parents are navigating parenting duties largely on their own, without the built-in support that grandparents provided in previous eras.

Moreover, millennial parents often follow different parenting philosophies than their parents did, which may also reduce grandparents’ involvement in childcare. Research shows that 73% of millennial parents believe they are doing a better job than previous generations(FamilyEducation). Many embrace more structured approaches like Montessori or gentle parenting, which can sometimes conflict with the more traditional approaches grandparents might suggest. This divergence in parenting styles creates less room for regular grandparent involvement in caregiving roles, as millennial parents tend to prefer more direct engagement with their children.

What’s the Alternative?

Without regular grandparent help, millennial parents are turning to alternative solutions—and that’s where ilo retreat comes in.

Whether you’re a solo parent or part of a couple, ilo retreats offer the ideal mix of adventure and rest. We understand the unique challenges millennial parents face when it comes to traveling with young children. That’s why our 2025 retreats in France, Italy, and Portugal are designed to give you the best of both worlds—enriching childcare for your little ones and genuine relaxation for you.

Why ilo is Different:

Montessori-inspired childcare: Your children aren’t just supervised—they’re engaged and learning through our Montessori-based activities, ensuring that their vacation is as fulfilling as yours.
Beautiful destinations: Whether it’s exploring the vineyards of France or the coastlines of Portugal, we create the perfect environment for both bonding and recharging.
Tailored for parents: From peaceful spa days to time to connect with other parents, our retreats are designed with your needs in mind.

The Bottom Line

While grandparents might not be as available for support as they once were, millennial parents are finding new, creative ways to manage the balance between parenting and self-care. At ilo retreat, we’ve crafted a solution that addresses this modern challenge—allowing you to explore the world with your little ones and enjoy the rest you deserve.

So, if you’re ready to experience the perfect blend of adventure and relaxation, we’ve got you covered. Join us in 2025 in France, Italy, or Portugal, and let us take care of the details while you and your children create unforgettable memories.

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